Rachael Johns explores divorce or separation solution ‘nest parenting’ in her own brand new novel

Nest parenting is a solution for divided moms and dads, where the children remain in your family house and grownups take turns coping with them. A idea that is nice but does it work?

A years that are few, we came across a write-up about nest parenting, and though my spouce and I were/are nevertheless together, the style piqued my interest.

Nest parenting (often called birdnest parenting) is a child-centred custody solution for divided moms and dads. Typically whenever divorce or separation occurs, kids usually end up going backwards and forwards between their moms and dads’ brand new domiciles. In a nest arrangement, the youngsters remain in your family house plus the parents take turns coping with them. You should definitely making use of their young ones, the parents may either live at another provided property or they could each have their very own split dwelling.

For several our married life I’ve driven my husband crazy asking him hypothetical concerns – how long could you decide to try find somebody else if we passed away? If We committed an extremely severe criminal activity, could you the stand by position me personally? You do if you had ten days to live, what would? You receive the concept …

He HATES it. But once I inquired him if nest parenting had been one thing we might start thinking about for the three kids whenever we ever split, he really played the overall game. Because what’s more essential than your kids’ security and happiness, right?

We considered the logistics – while our sons remained within our present house, where would we get? The option that is preferred undoubtedly be that we each have our personal places to place our mark on and work out a home, however the simple fact is our budget probably wouldn’t extend to this. Alternatively, we’d need to either settee surf, get back to coping with moms and dads or share the dwelling that is second just take turns here too. In all honesty, the notion of sharing a house along with your ex – even when it was the best solution for our children, we like to think we’d give it a try if you never lived there at the same time – didn’t sound hugely appealing, but.

Divorce proceedings may be a hugely emotionally traumatic time for everybody, but particularly the young ones, therefore having the ability to stay static in their particular house or apartment with all of their things and familiar environments can only just be a good thing.

However, is not the wellbeing associated with young children frequently influenced by the well-being associated with the moms and dads? And I also can see right now that most kinds of conflicts could arise in the event that grownups involved aren’t regarding the exact same web page about the way the family household will run, exactly what share of bills each moms and dad pays, control and home guidelines, etc. And what goes on whenever partners that are new the equation or some body will leave your house in a little bit of a state?

That’s when my writer’s mind kicked in and I also believed that this custody that is relatively new sounded fabulous the theory is that but could oftimes be quite fraught in training and would consequently be a fascinating concept to explore in a novel.

The end result ended up being Flying The Nest, the story of a woman whoever life is turned upside down whenever her husband suggests they try nest that is parenting she had no idea their relationship was at difficulty. Inside herself and discover who she is, or, rather, who she wants to be as she BHM dating site struggles to come to terms with the end of her marriage and navigate shared custody with her ex, she’s forced to look deep.

As research we talked to an amount of partners tangled up in this situation, only 1 of who have been carrying it out more than a few months. All consented that the essential thing that is important success had been establishing clear rules about how precisely your family would run and achieving an idea along with these guidelines and details documented to make certain that everyone else involved understands what to anticipate and what exactly is expected of those.

Individually, i do believe if my spouce and I ever chose to split, a nest parenting custody arrangement is certainly one thing we might try, but whether or maybe not we’d be successful is anyone’s guess. I believe nest parenting might be an excellent solution that is temporary relieve kids into a brand new household dynamic, but one which it might be difficult to carry on indefinitely.

Flying The Nest by Rachael Johns, posted by HQ Fiction, is going now.

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